When travel goes wrong – female solo travel in the Swedish wilderness

So far, I’ve been pretty lucky with how my travel plans played out. I should have known it was a matter of time before something happened. It wasn’t technically bad, but enough warning bells rang that I changed my plans drastically.

Let’s set the scene first. I’m a female solo traveler who slow-travels around the world to work and live in all kinds of different countries. I’ve been traveling on my own since as long as I can remember, excepted one 3-week trips to Thailand and Cambodia with my friends over 10 years ago. I moved to Oregon, Corvallis on my own for six months, I left my entire life behind and spend 3 months in Bali, and now I go wherever I want to. Solo travel is absolutely amazing in terms of freedom and discovering yourself, but it can also be scary and overwhelming. Sometimes it’s a battle to keep going, but more often than not, it’s well worth it.

Be prepared

Being a female solo traveler means preparation is key. No, you don’t have to, but I prefer it this way. Unexpected things will happen, but being prepared will prevent the worst. I’m fairly certain I’d survive just fine without half of these preparations, but it’s better for my mental health if I do prepare and get control over the situation. A key part of my preparation is exploring the neighborhood I’ll be traveling to. Google street view might not be that great for privacy, but it’s excellent to learn the route from your new Airbnb to the closest grocery store beforehand.

That might seem a bit much for some of you, but when you’re jetlagged and overwhelmed, you want clear, simple things to do. Finding food can be an absolute nightmare in a new country with no cell reception and unfamiliar streets.

Preparing for the area is one thing. Reviewing your homestay, hotel, or Airbnb is another important step. And this is where things went wrong. Reviews on Airbnb are pretty trustworthy, but I always contact the owner and ask a few questions of my own. In this particular situation, I’d found a lovely homestay in the middle of the Swedish wilderness. The photos showed a lovely family home with two little girls, and I wondered if they’d mind if I stayed with them for a longer time. The owner assured me it wouldn’t be a problem at all since the house was big enough for all of them.

Next, I asked about mobility since I’d be traveling by train and the property was unreachable with public transport. Picking me up was no problem at all, and the owner assured me I could use his car once a week to go grocery shopping for myself. Communication was fast and reliable, and I had a good feeling with this family, so I booked a 5-week stay with them.

The arrival

Things turned out a bit different once I arrived. The owner picked me up from the train station, but I immediately felt it wasn’t to his liking. I was a bit late because of delays, so I figured it might be because of that. Once I arrived at the home, the owner explained to me he was a single man fostering a teenage boy and hosting another young man via Workaway. Instead of the expected lovely family home, I arrived in a house with a single dad and two young men.

To be absolutely clear, I never felt threatened or unsafe with them. They were super friendly and mostly left me alone. But I was very uncomfortable with the fact that the host lied about his family situation. Secondly, he informed me I could not use his car for to go into town for grocery shopping and that I’d have to find a way on my own to get food. He did offer to go shopping for me, for a small fee, of course. Second red flag.

And then came the finishing blow, so to speak. The owner informed me he’d be going on a 10-day vacation to Spain, and I’d be left with his teenage foster son. I’d be completely isolated in a foreign country with no means of transportation, with a teenage boy I did not know. To say I was uncomfortable and weirded-out would be an understatement.

Now what?

Technically speaking, nothing was wrong. The room I rented was as depicted in the photos, and I could stay there for the time that I intended. No unsafe situations had occurred. But.

There was a very loud “but” in my head. I felt uncomfortable, and I wanted to get out of there. I couldn’t exactly name why, just that I wanted out. The problem was that I travel on a tight budget, and leaving this place and finding another one for the next five weeks would mean I’d have to go way over budget.

But is my personal sanity and well-being not worth going over budget? Now I can absolutely say that yes, of course. In that moment, though, I got severe tunnel vision and went into fight-or-flight mode. Rational thinking goes out of the window in those kinds of situations.

The thing was that it wasn’t an acute fight-or-flight situation. When you are in immediate danger, you’re reflexes go into overdrive. But I wasn’t in immediate danger. I was only uncomfortable. Now, I can only speak for myself, but I’m sure some of you, probably women, because that’s the world we live in, know exactly what I felt. It’s that gut feeling you need to get out of there, even though, technically, nothing bad is happening.

If there is one thing you remember from this post, then let it be: listen to that gut feeling. No matter your gender, age, or situation, when you get that gut feeling, follow it. Don’t think about the financial consequences or how it might look to other people. Not only is this the best travel tip I could ever give you, it applies to anything in life. So, tune into your gut feeling and honor it.

The aftermath

I booked that place for five weeks, but I ended up staying six days. I told the host I wasn’t feeling well, and that I needed to change my travel plans. He was very considerate and even offered to pay me back most of my deposit. I had no back-up plan and no idea what to do, but I wasn’t ready to leave Sweden yet.

The first reason to come to Sweden was the nature and wildlife. The second reason was to experience the Northern lights. I still had several travel days left on my Interrail pass, so I headed up north to Umeå. And guess what? My first night there, after a twelve-hour train trip, I saw the most spectacular northern lights.

Thinking back on it, that bubbling excitement of seeing the sky move above me, absolutely amazing. It’s the closest thing I’ve seen to magic, and I wouldn’t trade that experience for anything in the world. That night turned out to be one of the most impressive Northern lights action Sweden saw that month, and I’m so grateful to have been there to experience it. If I’d stayed at that other place, uncomfortable or not, I would have missed it.

I had a great time in Umeå. It’s a small town, but surprisingly charming and perfect for holding fika, people-watching by the water, spending time in nature, and night-time Northern lights cinematics. Changing my travel plans so dramatically was difficult for my over-analyzing and super-prepared brain, but I am so grateful I listened to that gut feeling and went with it.